My Happiness

So the other night I was having a really hard time.  As usual Douglas just said something not even meaning to be rude or careless or anything and I started to cry because of the emotions that I had bottled up. 

See there's this thing that no one tells you about after you have a baby.  Not only have you spent a crap load of money on maternity clothes and baby supplies, but after that baby comes out, none of your clothes or shoes fit that fit before so you have to buy a whole bunch of new stuff then.  Really, no matter how much exercise you do, your stuff never fits the same.  No one tells you that.

   Anyway, that was my moment.  I haven't really felt much like myself since Eloise was born.  Your identity isn't really you anymore, it's you and your baby.  You are no longer Elise and Douglas, your Elise and Douglas and baby.  No one really wants to see you, they want to see your baby.  Your body still isn't yours because Eloise needs it to eat and really it doesn't look like it did before I was pregnant so sometimes I stand in the mirror and wonder how my head got on this other lady's body. 
   I have tried really hard to be positive and learn how to work with the changes that have happened and let's be honest, I've had a hard time......but I have a really great thing.....my happiness.
   As I was crying and feeling bad, my husband was so perfect.  He looked at me and said "you're right, you don't look like you did when I married you.  You're right, I was attracted to you the way you looked when we were dating.  That doesn't mean that I'm not attracted to the woman you've become now.  Just cause you look a little different doesn't mean that you're not who I love.  We change and we change together." 
   Now, I know what all of you women are thinking, 'Elise he lied to you :0)' or 'you are SO niave'.  You know what, I don't think so.  Douglas is right.  I still love him and he may not change very much until he's an old man and he may change appearance a whole lot, but he is my happiness.  Not his body, but his personality.  The fact that he wrestles me, tickles me, laughs with me, hugs me when i cry, calls me crazy (cause I am).  He is my happiness when he holds my daughter and tells her that he loves her.  Tells her about how silly her mommy is and how much fun we're going to have as a family.  He is my happiness because he reminds me that I'm his happiness no matter if I look the way I did before or how I look now with a little more in places I wish there wasn't.
  I know it may seem crazy, but isn't it nice to know that I can be someone's happiness no matter how I look and someone can be mine no matter how they look.  I think we all need to be reminded that we are all someone's happiness and you may not even know it.
              Someone loves you just the way you are.

Love,
Elise

Halloween

So it was a little difficult this year to decide what to do about Halloween.  I really didn't want to find a costume for my small baby because A. she can't trick or treat & B. I didn't want the candy cause I'm trying to be skinny again
But,
   in the end we decided to dress her up and Aunt Kimberly gave us the idea.
                 Grandma Hardman (aka Liz) and I executed the plan.

Costume is a 4T turtle neck that we added snaps to the bottom to close it like a onesie and cut off the extra long sleeves to make her leggings.
Cricut iron on flocking cut on the paper dolls cricut cartridge.  24x12 size at the biggest it would cut.
Tule tu tu and a rocking hair thing made by Aunt Aly.
End result.............

Eloise was a baby skeleton. 
        And I think she looked stinkin cute, but I have a biased opinion!
We had fun though.  We went and saw all the Grandparents in Riverton and Draper, was cooed over in Cabelas and by the end of the night had peed through every layer including the costume and so it wasn't clean for the Grandparents down here.  *Sigh*  Life with a baby :0)

First Halloween down, at least 11 more to go.

Elise

Beauty School Drop Out....

So I've finally decided and committed to what I'm going to do with my life.
I'm headed to cosmetology school!
I'm actually really excited.  I'll be able to cut hair, do make-up, do nails, eyelash extensions, and permanent cosmetics!   It always seemed like something that I would want to learn, but never really seemed like a good idea.  However, the more and more I thought about what I would want to be able to do if I ever needed to work, it seemed to interest me the most.  So yay!
I hope I don't become a beauty school drop out like Frenchie from Grease and I definitely hope I don't ever color mine or anyone else's hair pink! (unless they want me too)
Anyway, if you know anyone who needs these services, look me up in the future :0)

Elise

Learning a lot about life

So being a mom for the last 5 weeks has sure taught me a lot. 
Sleep is something you definitely need and when you don't get it....you can be mean:0)
Babies really do have different kinds of cries.  You hear that from moms you come in contact with and think that they are crazy, but it's true, they do.
It's really frustrating when the baby poops all over three outfits in less than 3 hours. 
Laundry is now a NEVER ENDING chore....yuck!
Sometimes you really just want to be alone.
BUT,
when my Eloise smiles and laughs in her sleep
               when she stretches and snuggles me
when she looks around the room with her beautiful blue eyes
                              when I see her grow,
All that stuff at the top of the page, is so worth it.

I love being her mom!

New....and Grateful

So I haven't posted in a while. Mostly because when I got put on bed rest, I'll admit, I got really depressed.  I didn't really want anything to do with anything so I didn't.  I'm better now because my beautiful daughter is here and even though we have our rough spots, she is way more fun out of my belly :0)

I am posting some pictures from her first photo shoot.  It was so much fun.  My cousin Jessie took the pictures and she is so patient and got some really fantastic pictures.  I just love her.  It was so much fun to watch my baby decide if she was going to be happy or not.

Mostly I'm blogging today about a few things that I have been thinking about as of late.  I hope that anyone who reads this blog doesn't get offended, but I really need to vent a little. 
I have been very frustrated with the news and the world making such a big deal about Elder Packard's talk from conference.  I understand that it was not what people wanted to hear, but when does conference really ever have a whole bunch of talks about things we want to hear.  I'm pretty certain I remember a talk a while back about piercings that really angered me, but that doesn't mean it isn't what the Lord wanted us to and needed us to hear.  I know that now the topic at the fore front all over this nation is about certain attractions that people have to each other.  I do not profess to know any answers about these attractions or what really can be done except for unconditional love and being there for any person you may meet who needs you to listen.  However, I do not understand how I am asked to love and accept how they feel without hesitation, but they cannot do the same for my beliefs and how I feel.  I'm sorry that everyone in the world right now doesn't understand the stand that the church has on same sex and same gender attraction and marriage, but they are allowed to feel that way.  If you want me to feel unconditional love and acceptance of how you choose to live your life, then please have the same respect towards how I choose to live mine. 
Please know that I do have people very close to me that are dealing with some of these struggles and decisions.  I have also lost people close to me that were dealing with these questions as well and I love them and I'm there for them if they need me.  I also hope that they understand that I want to do as my Heavenly Father asks and that they respect me enough to know that what I believe is important to me.  I will never force the way I feel on another individual so please don't force me to believe the way you feel. 
Okay enough of that.....thank you for letting me vent.

On a happier note, let's see some pics of my beautiful baby!

Oh she's so cute.  And so are we :0)

Hopefully I can blog some more now that I am feeling better!  Talk to you soon!

Elise

Yay for being pregnant

So I love being pregnant ( states Elise sarcastically )

If you haven't heard yet, I am now part of the greatest pregnant club ever.....the bedrest club!   Yay for that.  I have PIH which is the new fancy acronym for pre eclympsia.  Anyway. I'm  here in bed ever day until Eloise is ready to come. Sweet. 
My husband is such a sweety because he gave me such a good quote the night we found out that I would be on bedrest.  He said he was given this quote when he was on his mission, "Come what may and love it."  That's what I've been trying to do because I love that I'm not in the hospital and I love that I'm not having a baby that is in NICU.
It's kinda hard because I'm not one to just sit and do nothing all day, but I have grand plans to read books and scrap book stuff, so we'll see if I can do it.  Probably not, but we'll see how it goes.  hahaha
I just wanted to say I'm so grateful for everyone who has been helping Douglas and I so far and helping me by cleaning my house and grocery shopping for me. 
I will never be able to put into words how much I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for surrounding me with people who love me so much!

Any suggestions to keep me busy let me know.

Love everyone,

Elise and Eloise

I'm grateful.....

Today was a rough day....I was throwing up all day today and I have no idea why.  For a while I was really upset about it, but then I realized that I needed to be grateful because there are so many things that could be worse.
You see this week has been rough for Douglas and myself.  Douglas had to go to work in Colorado this week which is a blessing and a curse.  He's gone for a week, but he makes more when he does work out there.  So it's a catch 22.  I want him here, but we need to save for our baby Eloise so it's a dilemma.
Well, this week in Colorado was really rough for Douglas because he got stung by wasps at a home he was working at and he has allergic reaction to bee stings.  His hand stared to swell and hurt really bad.  He uses his hands all day and was far from our hospital and doctors so he was really stressed.  On top of that it started to rain and he does all of his job outside so he was hurting and soaking wet at the same time. 
Because of who I am, I"m not a very good listener because I just want to take action and fix it, so I wasn't very sympathetic to him because I was trying to make him think positive and thinking of how I could make it better...it didn't help.  hahaha
So what did I do, I called our insurance company.  I'm so grateful for insurance, even though it costs a lot of money, it helps so much.  They told me because it was an emergency it was completely covered because he was out of state.  So I found an urgent care on Google near where he was....I'm grateful for Google.  He maybe didn't want to go, but he did and he was so much better!!!
So today was rough because I was throwing up all day with taking the medicine I've had to take since the beginning of being pregnant.  I'm not sure why, but it was draining, but I found out why I'm grateful for that.  Eloise was moving and grooving like crazy today.  She's still growing and she was moving so I wasn't worried so I guess I'm grateful for throwing up.  Hahaha
It's kinda funny, but I tried to have a positive attitude today and it worked.  It was just rough.  I'm grateful for the lesson that I learned today.  Staying positive helps. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father for teaching me that lesson apparently I needed to learn it. 

Love you all,

Elise and Eloise (cause she's with me too :o) )